I almost hesitate to add this to my blog, because who gives a shit? But since it’s likely that my entire blog will be perceived as superfluous, and since I really want to maintain this list going forward, I’m going to include it. And if one small boy in Kansas avoids reading any of the terrible books I read last year, then it’s all been worth it. So here is the list in the approximate order that I read them, with a letter grade and some of my thoughts.
1. Empire Falls – Richard Russo (C)
I’ll read most any book by an author that a lot of people are talking about. I read interviews with authors I enjoy, I peruse the New York Times book reviews, and I spend a lot of time at the “Paperback Favorites” table in Barnes & Noble. This book was all over those things and it won the Pulitzer Prize, so I gave it a whirl. It was perhaps the single most average book I read last year. The writing was technically sound but unremarkable, things happened but the story wasn’t compelling, and the characters were so cookie-cutter that they often felt like stereotypes. This was another in a long list of Pulitzer Prize winners I’ve read that didn’t live up to the prestige of the award. Either that, or I am entirely mistaken about the value of the prize.
2. Next – Michael Crichton (C-)
I’m a big Michael Crichton fan, but this was the worst book of his that I have read. I’m perhaps being generous with my C-, but the book explores the implications of genetic engineering and globalization, and there are enough interesting ideas and psuedo-fact tidbits to tempt me to finish it. Still, if you read books to enjoy well-developed characters, plot points that add up to a larger whole, and satisfaction then just stick with Jurassic Park. You can’t miss.
3. How to Be Alone – Jonathan Franzen (B+)
I’m a big fan of Jonathan Franzen. He wrote a great book called The Corrections that I read in 2006 and would recommend to any fan of literary fiction (in spite of the fact that it’s a part of Oprah’s book club). How to Be Alone is a book of essays that he wrote about lots of interesting topics including his ideas about the nature of the novel, the condition of the Chicago postal system, and some reflections on American prisons. There are a few essays that didn’t grab me, which kept this from being a glowing success, but Franzen is generally creative, insightful, well-spoken, and erudite. Good stuff.
4. Drop City – T.C. Boyle (D+)
This was a book I picked up on the strength of the author’s reputation. He’s written a million books, and people tend to suck his balls in reference to them. Maybe I picked the wrong volume to start with, but this book was pretty awful to me. It’s the story of a hippie commune in California in the ’60s that decides to relocate to the Alaskan wilderness. It is largely a human story, focusing on a handful of commune members and hardy Alaskans. I actually know a few people to whom the book’s themes would be quite interesting, but I generally hated the characters, and the prose, though sturdy, was not sparkling enough to overcome my boredom and ire. Big fart noise on this one.
5. The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time – Mark Haddon (B)
One of the various ways I select my books is to judge them by their covers. In addition to resting prominently upon the aforementioned “Paperback Favorites” table at B&N, this book boasts a flaming red cover with the silhouette of an upside-down dog. It also has a nice matte finish, which is attractive to me because I love to constantly shuffle a book in my hands as I read. So, I had to check this one out, and all I can say is that I was not disappointed. The story is told from the perspective of an autistic child who is attempting to solve the mystery of his neighbor’s murdered dog, which forces him to overcome many of his social and emotional limitations and leads him to discover some hidden aspects of his own family. When I say I wasn’t disappointed, that is literally all I mean. I wasn’t blown away, and it didn’t stick with me for days after I finished it, but I did enjoy it, and it was a quick read, so the reward matches the investment.
6. Breakfast of Champions – Kurt Vonnegut (F-)
Everyone loves Kurt Vonnegut, right? That’s all I ever hear, and yet, until last year, I had not read any of his work. This is perhaps not his very most famous book, but it was definitely famous enough that I had heard of it and that fans of Vonnegut count it among their favorites. I was actually excited that I wasn’t reading Slaughterhouse Five, because I thought I would get a chance to see what this guy was really all about. Quite simply, this was the worst book I have ever read, a list that includes The House of the Seven Gables. I was actively and intensely irritated, start to finish. I have an unmitigated hatred for this book, and it will take a monumental leap of faith for me to ever try Vonnegut again.
7. Life of Pi – Yann Martel (A)
This was the first really, really good book I read in 2007, and it was just in time, because I was seriously considering swearing off the written word. It was a great mouthwash for that Vonnegut puke taste. On the surface, it is the story of an Indian boy who, after a shipwreck, finds himself trapped on a lifeboat with a tiger, a zebra, a hyena, and an orangutan. This is an interesting enough idea, but there is much more to this book. It is wonderfully written, engaging, full of small poignancies, and, in the end, thought-provoking. I do know one person who walked away from this book mid-way through, and I can think of a few close friends who would get nothing out of it, but for the overwhelming majority of those who actually like to read, this is some literary fun.
8. The Amazing Adventures of Kavalier & Clay – Michael Chabon (A)
Now, this is what I imagined a Pulitzer Prize-winning novel would be like, although the fact that it actually did win the prize must be a fluke given the turd-like quality of typical winners. This book is about a European Jew who smuggles himself out of Europe as the Nazis are tightening their grasp. He escapes to America, where he lives with his New York cousin, an aspiring comic book writer. The two create several popular comic book characters, and this book follows them over several years in the wake of their success. Chabon has amazing command of language, and even just the words of this book are fun to read. The story is epic, emotional, humorous, realistic, and has great depth (not in a blow-hardy way, either. It’s sincerely engaging). Quite rewarding.
9. On Writing – Stephen King (B+)
I was intrigued to read Stephen King’s account of the writer’s process, because he is the rare prolific, best-selling author that lots of people enjoy that I also enjoy. You summer reading-listers can keep your Sue Graftons and James Pattersons, but I’m with you on King. This was a satisfying little book that gave some genuine insight into how the Master of Horror works, how he got started, and how he would recommend all would-be writers approach their craft. The only thing that keeps this from the “A” range was that, at times, King seems to approach writing with cold dispassion and a series of mildly-arbitrary style rules instead of with heart and seat-of-your-pants exuberance. I suppose he knows what he’s doing. I must say that I distinctly remember reading this book during a shitty couple of days, and it made me feel better. That’s gotta count for something.
10. The Human Stain – Philip Roth (C)
This was another author I was checking out because of the ejaculation of praise that gets cummed upon him. This particular book is one of his more famous ones, if not the most famous. It’s the story of a disgraced college professor whose career was ruined when a remark he makes to his class is misconstrued as a racial slur. The novel relays the shocking details of his life against the backdrop of his semi-scandalous sexual affair with an illiterate female janitor. Sounds like a real page-turner, eh? It is obnoxiously pretentious, and if that sounds redundant, read a few pages. It is largely boring, long-winded, blow-hardy, and very far from the highly-touted novel it is heralded as. Still, every time I was about to diarrhea with anger, Roth would make some beautiful observation about life, or the plot would pick up by just a heartbeat, and he would compel me to carry on. I can’t say it is entirely without value.
11. Killing Yourself to Live – Chuck Klosterman (A)
This is just a great book that I think 90% of all people will really enjoy (I can’t say with confidence that Nate Duke will like anything. In fact, I’m sure he’d hate it). It’s a collection of nonfiction essays written about famous deaths in Rock ‘n Roll. Klosterman goes across the country, visiting the sites of famous rock deaths, wittily observing. All the essays are somewhat woven together by various details of Klosterman’s life, most pertaining to the current state of his romantic relationships. The writing is as clever, witty, and spot-on as I always believed I was until I read it. Check it out.
12. Seven Types of Ambiguity - Elliot Perlman (C)
If I’m forced to give a book a “C” grade, it’s usually because I finish it and my only reaction is, “Well, that was a book I read.” That’s really all I had to say about this one. It’s the story of a kidnapping told from seven different perspectives. As each different character tells his or her story, we learn about the various, sordid ways in which the characters’ lives are intertwined. If that idea is intriguing to you, read the book. There’s nothing wrong with it; I just didn’t love it or hate it. It was like lying in a pool of tepid water. But don’t take my ambivalence as gospel; I actually know someone who read, enjoyed, and was affected by this book.
13. Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows - (A)
Obviously, if you follow the Harry Potter books, you’ve already read this one and your opinion is set in stone. What was really great about this installation in the series, which (perhaps controversially) I think might be the best one, is that it enhances several of the volumes that came before it. It does more than simply wrap up the saga; it takes details and questions introduced in earlier books and casts them in a new, satisfying light. I also believe that this could be the best of the movies (though I was disappointed to hear that they are making it into two movies, which is in-line with all the copping out this series seems to be doing these days) because it is action-packed, visually stunning (in my my mind’s eye), and relies less on acting than the other books (which is great, because by the time this one gets released, the 40-year-old actors will be struggling more mightily to play kids than they already do). Also, my sources tell me there will be deleted scenes wherein Dumbledore’s ghost makes out with Harry.
14. Sex, Drugs, and Cocoa Puffs – Chuck Klosterman (A)
Another great Klosterman book. Just absolutely satisfying, for all the same reasons as Killing Yourself to Live, but possibly better because of the broader range of topics Klosterman turns his keen eye to. As someone who is toying with perhaps maybe becoming an aspiring writer, what impresses me most about this guy is his ability to turn a small opinion, observation, or personal vignette into a ten-page essay that is fascinating pillar to post. I disagree with some of what he says, but the arguments are so entertaining that it doesn’t really matter.
15. House of Leaves – Mark Z. Danielewski (C-)
The essential plot of this book was described to me a few years ago, and it was instantly intriguing…and then I forgot about it entirely until it began to appear on my friends’ bookshelves, much like doors and hallways begin to mysteriously appear in the novel’s titular house. Yes, in the bare bones, this is the story of a house that appears to be growing from the inside but not the outside and the implications of this creepy development for the family living in the house. In some places, House of Leaves is extremely unnerving and well-executed, but it’s more often difficult and irritating to read, both in terms of content and the physical layout of words on the page. If you can fight through it, there are rewards, but reading should rarely be work…except for publishers.
16. Never Let Me Go – Kazuo Ishiguro (D+)
Every time I finish yet another acclaimed-but-average book, I’m reminded of the role of expectation in enjoyment. Upon reflection, I realize I’m trapped. If I set the bar of expectation too high, the book will have a difficult time matching my hype. On the other hand, if I even pick up the book in the first place, it’s because I expect it to be good, so the bar is inherently set high. I guess that’s why I end up being disappointed so often. I read Never Let Me Go because it was nominated for several awards, it’s author is critically acclaimed for both this and past works, and it had a premise that intrigued me (a woman genetically engineered so that her organs could one day be harvested reflects back on growing up among other clones. See? You’d read it, too). It was boring, it was written with what seemed to be affected delicacy, and it didn’t make me think or feel anything.
17. Special Topics in Calamity Physics – Marisha Pessl (A-)
I occasionally read this website called Salon.com. I actually stumbled upon it when I was looking for book reviews, and that’s still primarily the reason I tune in. That’s where I discovered this book, where it was warmly and, as it turns out, accurately, reviewed. It’s the story of an extremely intelligent high school girl who has grown up traveling from college town to college town with her eccentric, intellectual, professor father. For her senior year, she is rewarded with the promise of staying put for the entire year. She falls in with a crowd of popular friends that have an intense, somewhat-mysterious relationship with a young teacher whom they eventually find dead. Pessl’s writing style is both conversational and literary and is entertainment in and of itself. The story and characters keep things moving swiftly along to a very satisfying conclusion. This is a low-risk book for any on-the-fence readers.
18. Choke – Chuck Palahniuk (B-)
Palahniuk is one of those authors that is perhaps not widely beloved, but is intensely beloved by those that read him. I can’t really argue with that level of success, because it doesn’t imply that I am stupid or crazy if I don’t like him. This is, I think, the fifth of his that I have read, waiting and hoping for the match to strike, but it never has. This, the story of a sex addict who travels from restaurant to restaurant pretending to choke and allowing strangers to save him, is the closest it’s come. Like the rest of his work, Choke focuses on an unlikeable, seemingly-unredeemable character at the fringes of society. But instead of forcing the reader to wallow in the character’s shitty existence for 250 pages before pointlessly and meaninglessly grinding the story to a halt, Palahniuk allows Choke’s protagonist to grow, learn, and change for the better. Crazy as it sounds, that actually makes for better reading. But only “B-” better.
19. A Prayer for Owen Meany – John Irving (B+)
John Irving is one of my very favorite authors ever. He creates absolutely wonderful, rich characters; he does such a good job, in fact, that you almost don’t care what kind of journey these characters take. You just love to watch them reveal themselves. Owen Meany is the story of a man reflecting on the remarkable life of his extraordinary best friend Owen, who believes that he is God’s instrument. The plot points aren’t spectacular, but the characters are great and you will rarely ever find more powerfully clear, crisp, quality writing. If you’re thinking about reading some Irving (and you should), start with The World According to Garp. I think that makes all the rest of his stuff better.
20. The Ruins – Scott Smith (C)
This is Smith’s second novel, and the first was A Simple Plan. I never read that one, but the film adaptation is a highly underrated, attractively disturbing movie. Add that to Steven King’s promise that The Ruins was powerful and scary and a 50-cent price tag at Goodwill and you have all the reasons I decided to read this one. It’s a horror story about some American travelers who find themselves trapped in the Mexican jungle by silent natives and supernatural forces. Boooooooorrrrrriiiiiinnnnnnggg. There is an element of garden-variety suspense that allowed me to get through this one, but all the characters are unsympathetic figures that don’t even like each other, making it impossible for me to care about them. Thus, any and all emotion is drained from the story, rendering me a mere dispassionate observer. Sadly, this story also lacks both visceral terror and compelling evil worth observing. But it is a bestseller, and they’re making a movie, so you might like it, you fucking jerk.
21. The Egyptologist – Arthur Phillips (D+)
I only have myself to blame for this one. This is the second Arthur Phillips book I have read and the first, Prague, was one of those maddening books that was well-written and intermittently compelling but ultimately and annoyingly disappointing. I shouldn’t have read this one, but as I was contemplating it in Half-Price books, some stranger noticed me and said “Oh, I really loved that one. Prague is so depressing, but this one is so different.” It was different, but worse. I’d give you a synopsis in order to be as helpful as possible, but I don’t know anyone who would like this book, nor do I want anyone to maybe, possibly be curious enough to pick it up.
22. White Teeth – Zadie Smith (A-)
I found out about Zadie Smith because Marisha Pessl (another author on this list) was compared to her. The comparison is apt, and Smith is great, but I’m still having a difficult time justifying the “A-” I feel this book deserves. I suppose the grade corresponds to the amount of enjoyment I got out of the book, but I have a tough time recommending this book because I can’t really think of an enticing way to sell it, and I’d hate for people to take my word entirely. It’s the story of a unique British family and a traditional Indian family living in Britain, following their lives over a period of years. There’s obviously more to the story, but that is the long and short of it. That’s not typically the kind of story I rally behind, but the writing is fantastic, not for any faux-artistic pretensions but because it is so controlled and intentional and smooth. If part of what you enjoy about reading is the interplay of language and a few well-placed observations about life, than take a chance on this one. Just don’t blame me if you find I’m wrong.
23. The Road – Cormac McCarthy (F)
What a bitterly fitting end to my largely disappointing year in literature. This one is also a Pulitzer Winner, and it sandblasted any of the lingering sheen right off the award. I simply do not understand how this can be critically acclaimed. I’ll tell you the entire novel: A father and son wander through a post-apocalyptic world in an attempt to reach the ocean. That’s fucking it. NOTHING ELSE HAPPENS. In fact, my description actually makes the book sound more interesting than it is. No lessons are learned. No thoughts are provoked. The world is described alternately as cold, wet, gray, black, and smoky without variation for the entirety of the book. I would call it boring and pointless if I didn’t feel that was being too charitable. It’s so minimalist that it makes Hemingway look like James Michener, and McCarthy has somehow convinced the entire world that it is a beautiful piece of art. There are a world of literary critics and readers out there who will pretend to disagree with me, arguing there are leagues of depth and that it is McCarthy’s “most moving and perhaps most personal”(L.A. Times Book Review) work. That line of thinking is insulting to me and to all the people who have been duped into reading this. What is wrong with everyone? I hate it and, by extension, every person who likes it.
So, that’s an annotated bibliography of everything I read in 2007. I know it’s excruciatingly long and possibly not-at-all interesting. But if you like to read and need some suggestions, I hope this is useful. I’m gonna keep it up for ‘08, so keep your eyes peeled. Drop me a line if you’ve read anything on this list and you disagree with my assessment; I will, however, actually listen to you if you agree.
